Alright so last night i went to my fifth Tiger game of the year already. The place was packed and i must say that it was nice to see all of the support for a team that has been playing as well as anyone in the bigs besides the torrid Red Sox. I really have a passion for going to major league baseball games. There is something that's undeniably American about it and i feel a sense of pride that my country invented this great game. So in honor of the American way I'm gonna do what any normal American would do in this situation and tell you what i absolutely LOATHE about going to major league games.
Let me set the scene before i go too in depth about this. As we are driving into Detroit, i notice an abnormally large amount of traffic headed into the war zone we used to call a city. I found it strange but didn't give it a whole lot of thought until i saw a massive amount of adolescent teenage girls headed towards the stadium. Still not knowing whats going on and why all the parking lots were virtually filled with an hour and a half until first pitch i made my way into Comerica Park. By the way, the end of this particular post will have something to do with ballparks. So read all of this. We get into the stadium and i pick up my customary pack of the fresh roasted almonds i love so much and a pop and make my way to my seat. It was at my seat that i encountered the first thing i dislike about major league games. The 25 year old girl that decided to celebrate her birthday party at the ballpark with 20 plus of her best girlfriends and her steroid raging boyfriend. It was through Sarah and her posse that i found out Taylor Swift was playing at Ford Field last night. GREAT! Getting back to Sarah and her peeps... I'm not sure but I'm almost certain that these people did NOT WATCH ONE PITCH of the game... they talked about shopping and "like going to the MGM afterwards to get their drink on." Shut up and watch the game please. I know when Johnny Peralta hit the laser to the left field bullpen that NONE of them stood up and one even asked "what just happened?" I realize these people paid for their seat just as i did, but if you're not going to pay attention to the game then find something else to do for your birthday for crying out loud.
Next i will touch on the other steroid raging guys drinking the daiquiri's instead of a Beer then decide its OK to dance to the JLo song in the 6th inning after hes had 2 of the previous mentioned daiquiri's. Hey moron sit down you look like an idiot. Its not attractive and any self respecting woman thinks you are a chooch. Look I'm not going to lie to you... I've had to many beers at a baseball game and here's a news flash i didn't get up and dance to JLo song in the middle of the aisle. The topper for these guys is that there is always one of his "boys" who say to him sit down Jim, then Jim proceeds to cuss at the top of his lungs to his friend in a "loving fashion." Again I'm going to my bag and sprinkle some you are a tool dust all over you moron's. This isn't a bar. The little kid sitting two seats behind you with his grandfather doesn't need to hear F*** YOU at the top of your lungs repeatedly. Take into account that there are 44,000 other people here and at least 30,000 of them (if not more) do not want to watch you lose yourself in 3 daiquiri's and act a fool.
Finally, and I'll make this one brief. To the people that bring the signs that have the names of that particular teams TV broadcasters on it that read "Mario and Rod I love you." Just stop! You look like a moron in person and on TV if they so choose to put you on air. WATCH THE GAME!
To end this post I'm going to touch on Peter Gammons calling Wrigley Field a "dump". Pete i normally love your commentary. You are great sports caster and a wonderful baseball man that i respect. What are you thinking?" Everyone that goes through the turnstiles at Wrigley, and for that matter Fenway, know that the place is old and dilapidated... THAT'S WHAT THEY LOVE ABOUT IT. You are a Red Sox guy Pete. How can you say that about one of the crown jewels of America's favorite pastime? Sometimes as everyone's momma says "If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all." I respect your opinion Pete but keep it to yourself if its going to down the history of the game i love so much...
LISTEN TO 730 AM "THE GAME" FOR MAD DOG IN THE MORNING.... 6-9 LANSING
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